Migraine Land

I disappeared into the abyss known as Migraine Land. For eight days, I endured. Finally, it eased up two days ago and I am so grateful. It's like getting my life back again.

People usually use the words, "pain and suffering" together, as though they are one and the same. For me, they are different. I'm in pain all the time (muscle and tendon pain from fibromyalgia, joint pain from arthritis and sciatica), but I wouldn't call this suffering. Having a migraine with all its debilitating side effects is suffering.

When this happens, I tell myself, "This day is terrible, but it can't get any worse." But it can. It's like a bad infomercial, "But wait, there's more!" Each day when I awake, I have a few seconds of thinking, "It's gone!" but it's not. The pain quickly creeps back and settles in.

But laundry still needs to be done, dinners cooked, and bills paid. I tell myself, "You can do this. You've had days like this before and you've never fainted, so stop freaking out and just stand up long enough to take care of things."

The worst day, emotionally, was Saturday. Larry and I were planning to go visit my dad because my brother and his wife were there from Oregon, for the weekend. I had to cancel. I had so looked forward to seeing them, plus my sisters and their husbands. It was going to be a "Pizza Party." I was near tears all Saturday, sad for the loss of seeing my family and because I was losing hope.

For a few days after a long bout of illness like this, I feel traumatized. Post traumatic migraine disorder? I'm drained. I think suffering makes my adrenaline keep running; trying to deal with eight days of pain wipes me out. I'm also fearful of the migraine returning. I don't know what brings it on and I don't know what makes it stop. I can't tolerate anything other than Tylenol. All the new medications have bad side effects for me.

So, for now, I have my brain back (though some of you may not be able to tell the difference!) and I appreciate life so much more.

(The cartoon is more illustrative of a tension headache than a migraine. I was going to use a photo of a woman holding a hammer to her head, but decided that was too graphic. But it would have been more accurate).