Lucky Larry

Larry came home from Kmart with a funny expression on his face. He explained, “I was at the checkout, and suddenly a red light started flashing. I remembered what had happened with you ( You, Too, May Be a Winner ), so I didn’t get too excited. i felt embarrassed.”

The cashier told him in a flat voice, “You’ve won a prize, a package of Orbit gum. Which flavor would you like?”

Unimpressed, especially because Larry doesn’t chew gum, he told her to give him the most popular flavor. The cashier brought an assortment, fanned out like a deck of cards. Larry just picked one and was on his way.  

I think this is Larry’s attempt at looking bemused. I told him it looked like a police mug shot!

 

Rather than looking like someone who had just been arrested, I asked Larry to look excited. Does this remind you of anyone…?

 

                                             Oh yeah.

My Dad’s 90th Birthday Party

In May 2009, my brothers and sisters and I hosted a 90th birthday party for my father, Max L. Smith. I’ve organized a photo album you can view by clicking on this link:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=170667&id=730384346&l=360d37853c

You don’t have to have a Facebook account to view it. (If any of you reading this do have a Facebook account and want to add me as a friend, I’d be flattered).

The photos were all taken by my brothers, sisters and their spouses. I can’t take credit for a single one! I’ll share a few with you.

My dad, taken this spring, at the age of 91. Still looking and feeling sharp!

Come on, you guys! Pay attention! It’s time for the group photo! 

 

 That’s better. (Kim, Kay, Judy, me, Greg and my father)

I Don’t Live In a Vacuum

Kevin and I watched a Dr. Who episode which included the disablement of all electronics with an EMP (electromagnetic pulse) wave. Kevin told me, “When electronics and computers were first invented, they used vacuum tubes, which were resistant to EMP waves. A vacuum tube is like a light bulb…”

“I know what a vacuum tube is,” I stopped him. “Our television set used to have them.”

I didn’t go on, but I will here. When I was a kid, we had a console black and white TV. That meant the TV was in a cabinet/furniture type thing. I don’t think there were portable TV’s then.

The TV had a picture tube and lots of vacuum tubes. Sometimes the vacuum tube would burn out, like a light bulb. My dad would pop out the tube, take it to a store where they had bulb testers, test it, buy a new one and pop it back in.

A few times the big picture tube wouldn’t work, so that part would be taken in for repair. This was this screen of the TV. When it was gone, it left the cabinet almost empty, like a hollow shell. I remember climbing inside and making my own TV shows or commercials, peering out at my pretend audience.

While many other families bought a color TV in the late 60’s, we didn’t get one until I was a senior in high school (1971). For the first time, I could view The Wizard of Oz as it was meant to be viewed.

I had never known the first part of the movie was in black and white. When the house with Dorothy in it (and her little dog, too) landed in Munchkin Land, it all changed into glorious color.

I also understood the part when the guard in Emerald City said, “That’s a horse of a different color.” They showed a horse pulling a carriage, and the horse actually changed from green to blue, orange, red, yellow, and purple (I don’t actually remember all the colors. I cheated and used Google).

 
So, yes, I know about vacuum tubes. Don’t get me started on light bulbs versus those swirly bulbs that look like soft serve ice cream!

Teeth and Tires

Today I learned my teeth and our car tires are similar. Both have expensive hidden defects.

Ten days ago the side of one of my molars with a huge “silver” filling cracked off. This is the fifth time over the last twelve years a tooth has broken like this. I have silver fillings in most of my molars from when I was a kid. Eventually these fillings expand and sheer off sides of teeth. I consider it very unfair to have to have the same tooth repaired twice.

I went to a new dentist today. My former dentist didn’t seem willing to find an anesthetic that wouldn’t cause my heart to race, my chest to hurt, and make me feel sweaty and like I was going to explode from the inside out. He also didn’t try hard to find the source of pain from one of the crowns he put in. He took an x-ray, said it looked normal and called it a day.

My new dentist was great, very caring, very knowledgeable, and respectful. The good news, no anesthesia today, so no sickness. The bad news, I have to see an endodontist (root canal specialist) for a consultation. Not just on the broken tooth, but on SIX teeth. My new dentist showed me where there is decay under fillings with nerves close by, and thinks the crowned tooth may be developing an abscess.

                     (Today’s x-rays. Too much information)?

I take good care of my teeth; exams and cleanings twice a year, and get fillings when cavities develop. My new dentist said the work I’ve had done was more like patching, rather than being a clean job.

So now what do I do? Do I complain about the dentist who did the shoddy work? I like the man and he’s been treating my whole family for ten years, but now I don’t trust him. Is it possible the new dentist is just picky?

As for the tires; our car has been shaking when we drive. Our auto repair guy told Larry to get new tires before he looks for other problems. He showed Larry where there are bumps under the surface and metal showing in a few places, all signs of tire separation. We hadn’t noticed them, but they were there. An accident waiting to happen.

Thank goodness for credit cards. Sigh.

MRI: Monstrous Reverberating Incubator

MRI: Magnetic Resonance Imaging
MRI: May Render Insane
MRI: Massive Raucous Invasion

I had my protons realigned today.*  Really. Not in a Star Trekish way, but by a torturous device called a MRI.

When I mentioned to people I was going to have a MRI for my lower back (sciatica), every one responded with, “Oh, I couldn’t stand that thing. I had to be pulled out/sedated/use an open MRI.” They were all claustrophobic and just the memory of being in the narrow tube made their eyes wide with fear.

I have absolutely no problem with the enclosed aspect. I close my eyes so I don’t see the top of the tunnel only inches from my nose. I know I can push the panic button if I need it and the technician will talk to me and/or let me out. No problem.

I DO have a problem with the sounds. Strange, obnoxious, make-your-body-vibrate type of sounds. The same people who were terrified of the enclosed space gave me a funny look when I said the sounds frighten me.

Want to have a small sample of a MRI? Click on the link below, turn your speakers up really loud, and put your head right next to the speakers. Imagine this going on for twenty minutes.

Sample MRI Sounds

This is the fourth MRI I have had in my life. The sounds vibrate into my chest and make me feel like my heart arrhythmia is acting up. The only way I get through a MRI is by mentally talking to myself. Ear plugs don’t really help. It’s all a mind game for me.

I use different tactics. Sometimes I try to make sense of the sounds. “I’m parked by a construction site and there’s a jackhammer.” “I’m at home and the neighbor is using power tools. I hope he stops soon.” “Music is starting. Different tones are added.”

Or, I just try to distract myself. I sing songs, pray, count from 100 backward by 3’s, think about the plot of a book I’m reading, and think about the YouTube video, “Charlie bit my finger.”

Charlie bit my finger  (link to a cute video of two young English brothers)

I made it through the test, a bit dizzy and headachy. I’m so glad it’s done and it went better than I imagined. A MRI is not fun, but it beats being cut open to see what’s inside, right?

* “Typically MRI causes the body to emit a signal,” explains Jim Rosato, head interventional MRI technologist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. “As the protons—the nuclei—of the hydrogen atoms in our body spin, they form north and south poles, but they can be facing in different directions. Once the patient goes into the magnet, it causes all the protons to align in one direction.” With a magnetic field strength 10 thousand times greater than the earth’s, the electromagnet in the Signa SP has plenty of power to perform this feat.

“The banging, jackhammer sound people hear during MRI is actually caused by the electromagnetic gradients, or radio waves, switching on and off extremely fast,” Rosato continues. “This causes the protons, which are now lined up with the main magnetic field, to flip 90 degrees. Each time the radio pulse switches off, the protons go back to their original position. When they do that, they emit an electromagnetic signal—a radio frequency signal, like FM radio—and that’s picked up by the ‘antenna,’ or the coil,” hence magnetic “resonance.”

Mishmash

Can’t Touch This: I wanted to surprise Larry by cleaning the screen of his new Blackberry Storm 2. Whoa, do not try to wipe off a touch screen while the phone is turned on! Things were flashing on the screen and I had no idea how to control them. I felt like Chuck, watching The Intersect.

 Ratings: I wish books came with ratings, like movies. I can read book reviews online, but no one mentions if there’s language, violence or sex issues. In my small town, I can’t find the book on the shelves, but have to request it to be sent from other libraries. It’s disappointing to finally check out the book and find it’s not PG or maybe PG-13.

Punny: After seeing a promo for Dancing With the Stars, Larry said, “Did you know they’re going to do Dancing With the Stars in Russia? It’ll be called Dancing with the Czars.”

Needs an Explanation: After seeing a seagull fly by, Kevin said out of the blue, “In seventh grade, we were finally successful with getting a seagull to eat some pizza with Alka Seltzer in it.” What?

REALLY Needs an Explanation: …”I can stand up to special interests because I refuse contributions from insurance companies. I am a proven fighter, even after my colleague was shot in the head. I led recall of corrupt officials in my Southern California hometown…”   From Hector De La Torre’s statement in the “Democratic Party Candidate Statements.”  He’s running for California Insurance Commissioner. What?!!