Halloween Scrooge

I used to love Halloween, but our experiences the past few years have soured me. My family has turned into Halloween Scrooges. No one wants to answer the door for trick-or-treaters anymore. Here are a few rules if anyone wants to come to our house:

1. If you drove yourself to our neighborhood, you are too old to trick-or-treat.
2. If you have to shave, you are too old to trick-or-treat.
3. If you don’t have a costume, no candy for you.
4. If your baby has no teeth yet, don’t hold out a bag “For the baby.” I know who’s going to eat the candy and it’s NOT the baby.
5. If you are a parent, don’t hold out a bag for candy for yourself.
6. Don’t come to my house twice. I don’t forget that easily.
7. Don’t try to step inside my house.
8. If the porch light is ON, it’s OK to knock on the door.
9. Conversely, if the porch light is OFF, don’t knock on the door.
10. Seeing lights on INSIDE the house is not the same as having the porch light on (see rules 8 and 9).

Guess that’s all I can think of for now. After typing this, I don’t think we’ll be doing the trick-or-treat thing after all. (And after reading this, you probably wouldn’t want to come to our grouchy house, anyway).

                

(I found a bunch of posters online from the UK like the ones above. They are provided by different cities’ police departments each year. Citizens can copy and post them on their doors to avoid being bothered. I asked Larry if we should put one on our door, but he said, “No, we’d probably get egged.”)

The Black Hand

A late night radio host was discussing “Shadow People.”  This website explains, “Shadow people are paranormal shadow-like creatures that people usually see in their peripheral vision.  Reports suggest that they do not appear to reflect light and that their appearance is essentially a silhouette in black.”

This brought back a frightening nighttime childhood memory. I was probably eight years old or younger. I was on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed or trundle bed, playing with my stuffed animals; a panda bear and a lion. I had a flashlight to spotlight the show I was producing, with the animals as the stars.

Suddenly, a black hand appeared at the side of the bed. It was a solid black shadow. The hand slowly rose up to about mid-forearm length, formed a fist, opened back up, and slowly sunk back down out of sight. I was terrified. I don’t remember what I did after that frightening vision. I’m pretty sure I stayed in bed, too scared to get out and get help.

 

The next day, I told my brother, Greg, what I had seen. Sometime later, he told me he saw The Black Hand appear by his bed.

For years, I was afraid of seeing The Black Hand again. I wouldn’t look at the side of my bed at night. I especially wouldn’t let my hand or leg extend past the edge of the bed, out into Black Hand territory. (I’m sort of still scared to do that)!

Seeing The Black Hand was probably some sort of dream I had after playing with the stuffed animals and flashlight, but it was very real and very vivid. Actually still is.

What scares you in the dark of the night?

 

 

 

Demon Spider

Anyone know what kind of spider this is? I found it right outside our front door this morning.

It's about half an inch in size. It's black or very dark brown with a white "smiley face" (more like a demon face!). I've looked online and can't find a match. The closest is some sort of jumping spider, which really makes me... regret standing so close to get the photo.

Did I mention I'm afraid of spiders? When I was a kid, I wouldn’t sleep in my room if I saw a spider on the wall. I now can kill,..um.., get rid of them if they’re in the house. It’s just something about their legs. I’m not afraid of mice or snakes, but spiders give me the heebie-jeebies.*

My Aunt Charlene was terrified of snakes. When I was young, I thought it was crazy that she couldn’t even look at a picture of one. Now I understand. I can’t identify the spider because I can’t look at spider photos online long enough to make a match!

* Heeby jeeby was first used in the 1920’s by a cartoonist named Billy de Beck. Other popular phrases from that time were “hocus pocus”, “mumbo jumbo” and “the bees knees.” No, I’m not that old.