Cannibalistic Sheets

Do you ever think your sheets are alive? And evil?

I hate it when I’m drying sheets and I open the dryer door to find the king size fitted sheet has completely enveloped the flat sheet and pillow cases into a big ball. It looks like a white blood cell has eaten foreign bodies.

It’s irrational, but at that moment I get angry with the fitted sheet. I feel like it swallowed the linens on purpose, as if it were alive. I pull the sheets out, separate them, start the dryer again, and admonish the fitted sheet to behave itself. I know it won’t. It’s the nature of the beast.