I used to love Halloween, but our experiences the past few years have soured me. My family has turned into Halloween Scrooges. No one wants to answer the door for trick-or-treaters anymore. Here are a few rules if anyone wants to come to our house:
1. If you drove yourself to our neighborhood, you are too old to trick-or-treat.
2. If you have to shave, you are too old to trick-or-treat.
3. If you don’t have a costume, no candy for you.
4. If your baby has no teeth yet, don’t hold out a bag “For the baby.” I know who’s going to eat the candy and it’s NOT the baby.
5. If you are a parent, don’t hold out a bag for candy for yourself.
6. Don’t come to my house twice. I don’t forget that easily.
7. Don’t try to step inside my house.
8. If the porch light is ON, it’s OK to knock on the door.
9. Conversely, if the porch light is OFF, don’t knock on the door.
10. Seeing lights on INSIDE the house is not the same as having the porch light on (see rules 8 and 9).
Guess that’s all I can think of for now. After typing this, I don’t think we’ll be doing the trick-or-treat thing after all. (And after reading this, you probably wouldn’t want to come to our grouchy house, anyway).
(I found a bunch of posters online from the UK like the ones above. They are provided by different cities’ police departments each year. Citizens can copy and post them on their doors to avoid being bothered. I asked Larry if we should put one on our door, but he said, “No, we’d probably get egged.”)
Good stuff. I want some of those signs, just to have. Since we've lived in apt. complexes for our whole married life, we've never had trick or treaters anyway.
ReplyDeleteWe live in a senior living development, there are no trick or treaters. Wanta come move here? Stacey
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